How the bane of my existance became my bestfriend
by IdontcareOkaymaybeIcaretomuch
Summary: I just had to tease my friends (who just happened to be the best pranksters that Hogwarts has ever seen since Fred and George Weasley). The two idiots in return make me connect with my archnemesis, Louis Weasley.
1. The reaon why I hate my Besties

I hate my best friends. I thought looking at my hand connected to Mr. Popular's. It wasn't an accident. This is what I get for making fun of James and Fred's transfigurationmanship or lack thereof. I just couldn't believe it. One minute I was reading an amazing book, then my hand had this bracelet on it and I was holding hands with Louis Weasley. My archnemisis.

Now let's tell this to the beginning shall we.

I was lying down on the scarlet couch just reading. My feet were on James lap and my butt was on Fred's lap and my head was on a pillow. I couldn't help but throwing the book seeing how it ended with Augustus dying and Hazel Grace finding his analogy. It was just to much to take.

"Hey Fred, how do you turn a fluff ball into a pygmy puff?" James asked.

"No idea." Fred replied trying to do his potions and charm homework at the same time.

"Idiots." I snorted. The two just glared at me.

"Well now, Mallory we can't all have perfect marks." They said.

"Fredikins, Jamiekins. We learned this in second year." I pointed out.

"Then how do you do it?" Fred asked.

"Simple, you just say, Pigery Puff and wave your wand in the standard swish and flick motion." I answer before getting the book Mockingjay to read.

"We will have our revenge."

I found my book and just brushed off that comment before heading to dinner. I sat reading the book and was constantly switching and changing my ship names in my head.

"Mallory, could you put this bracelet on?" Someone asked I absent mindedly put the silver bracelet on ignoring the outside noise. Suddenly my hand was entwined with another's.

"James, Fred, what the hell did you two do?" I asked internally ripping off their heads.

"Oh I simply just gave you two the latest Weasley Wizarding Wheezes product." Fred explained.

"It's a bracelet that makes you connect with the person who has the other. Do you like it?" James said continuing the explanation.

I looked over to who I was connected with. Louis Weasley. Who at the same time just looked at me. He was a good guy at times and had his moments, but one problem. He uses his veela charm to get everything he wants. I hated it with every fiber of my being. Then there's this thing he keeps doing which I retaliate. He pulls my hair. Like all the time he's pulling at my curly black hair. Then in first year he stuck a piece of gum in my hair in second year. I went with a Bob and a straightening potion for a year. I could go on and on about this subject so I'm just going to stop there.

"Which one of you planned this." Louis asked his eyes narrowing.

"I did. I did." James and Fred said at the same time.

"I AM GOING TO KILL YOU." Me and Louis said at the same time, mine to Fred who was across from me and his to James who was across from Louis, both of us then at the exact same time stood up. "Stop copying me. You're copying. You aren't original at all are you. He's/She's copying me. Stop it."

"What is going on here." My dad, professor Longbottom said.

"They used a WWW product on us." Louis explained.

"Can you fix it because I would rather not be so close to this... thing." I said.

"I would rather not be this close to such a suck up." Louis said. I just looked at him and glared.

"While I would rather not be this close to an air head." I told him cooley.

"While I-" Louis started but couldn't finish due to my dad cutting him off.

"Enough, come follow me to headmaster McGonagol's office." He said before adding towards the boys which I smirked at. "You two get to come as well."

We all followed silently. Fred and James were silently laughing as Louis began to swing his arm causing mine to swing. I glared at him then smirked. I began to skip. This of course caused Louis to roll his eyes and start skipping with me.

Soon enough we were at the office. I gulped. Here we go. Into the snakes pit. The lions den. The badgers home. The Eagles nest. The doors opened and there stood a very disappointed McGonagol.

"Explain."

**Well there it is. My very first chapter. Yay. Well that was fun so drum roll please. **

**The Question of the day is:Which house is your favorite? Please answer in your reviews.**


	2. An amusing game of questions

Let's get this straight, okay just imagine an old lady with wrinkles, spectacles, and mean eyes is staring at you. Now imagine that you're watching your very deserving friends sitting in her chair being scolded at. Truth be told I was almost enjoying it. Their scolding would be better if I wasn't holding hands with a complete and utter git.

"Now what am I supposed to do with you two." She said averting her attention to Louis and I. Dad who was silent during this whole thing had spoken up.

"We could go to WWW ourselves and ask them about it." He suggested.

"Yeah, uh no." James said happily shaking his head.

"We. Asked them what it does and they have to stay like this for 'bout two, three days." Fred said smirking happily along with James. Me and Louis just glared at the two.

"Why on earth would you do that?" I asked using my free hand, you know the one that wasn't being held by git numero uno to pinch the bridge of my nose.

"The money." Fred exclaimed greedily.

"The entertainment." James said cooley.

I wonder why the act so alike. I mean it's just weird, they're just cousins, right? Anyway I wonder what would happen if the sun die-

"Well we're going to have to have them be in the same class," Mc-Scary-and-Intimidating said sadly, but what is it I detect: amusement, "then we have to have them sleep together since of course boys aren't allowed in girls dormitories."

My father spit out his water, mine and Louis's face turned oh so red, James and Fred were howling with laughter. Mc-Spectacles just looked confused then shocked. "Get your minds out of the gutter, we'll just have to push a sofa together. They should fit on that." She explained. Fred and James both calmed down a lot so I guess that's a good thing.

Louis's face though remained beet red and I couldn't tell if I didn't have a blush anymore. How can people tell they're blushing if no one else tells them? "What about showering?" He asked quietly.

"We have cleaning charms." Mc-Really-High-and-Tight-blBun said dryly.

"Okie dokie." I said swinging my legs back and forth. I can be very childish at times. "Can we go back to the common rooms?" I asked as innocently as possible.

"Yes of course, now you two detention for let's say a week."

"What that's unfair." They said in unison.

"Four weeks."

"That's ri-" we heard a thump and James face screwed up in pain. "perfectly fair."

I rolled my eyes before getting up and dragging Louis with towards the Gryffindor common rooms. I drag Louis up into the room ignoring the giggling fat lady.

"Oh young love such a wonderful thing." She says before me and Louis slam the door. "Rude, what have I ever done to you." I ignore her and walk over to one of the larger couches that could fit to second years or a small third year girl and average boy.

I sit there and stare at the fire unsure of what to do and not exactly oblivious to the rumors possibly being spread right now. Ostracization begins now.

"Hey," Louis says making me tear my full focus off of the fire, "we should play twenty questions." I can't help but look at him oddly.

"Why?" I ask in a very tired and drive voice.

"Because I'm stuck to you and I kinda want to know who I'm stuck to." He explains a bit to sarcastic for my liking.

"Sure." I say before turning so I'm face to face with him and our connected hands our facing the couch.

"What do you do in your free time?"

"I like to read." I answer, "Why do you always put on your veela charm?"

"To impress someone. Does it bother you?" He asked.

"No..." Louis looks at me as if I just killed a puppy and danced on it's grave, "yes..." Now he's smirking like a pompous git. "It's just so bloody annoying." I said, he just smiled then frowned. "Okay now if you had to vacation anywhere where would it be?"

"France. You?"

"I'm more of a California person, I think it would be fun to learn how to surf." I explained. "So I gotta ask, what do you think of my hair?" I asked him all in all seriousness glory.

He eyed it for like a minute and pulled one of my curly dark locks before answering, "In all honesty I kinda like it. It's adorable and i kinda want to braid it."

"Good luck with that in two to three days." I snort.

"Aww come on. Anyway, I know your dad's professor Longbottom and you have a younger half sister who James fancies but who's your mum?"

"My mum's Luna, Luna Lovegood. Though I'm pretty sure you've met the twins." I say not expecting his fangirling reaction.

"Your mom is the Luna Lovegood, the main editor for the quibbler and authorised a sports section." He says before squealing I simply raise my eyebrows because I can't raise one.

"Yeah, check out my eyes." I tell him, they're silver with a thin brownish circle surrounding it.

"Cool, now you gotta see mine." He says. I look into his to see the color is a solid cornflakes blue in one eye and a sparkling dark blue in the other.

"Wicked, okay, you win in eye coolness, but that's it." I say wagging my free finger in his face.

"Okay okay fine now shoot." He says getting an unofficial B- in urging people to ask him really personal questions. I'm ashamed.

"Okay, um how are you able to just stand your cousins for so long?" I ask.

"Which ones?" He clarifies. Does that count as a question. It should and it will.

"Roxanne, Fred, James, and Teddy."

"Them well Roxanne thought me how to do my hair and occasionally permanently dies it for me. Fred and James they're on my mental Slytherin list right now, Teddy, what do you have against him he's great."

"Well, Roxanne once did this thing we're she put full make up on me while I was sleeping. It was a pranking product and apparlently she was testing it out on me. I had to wear makeup for a full year. Teddy's dating your sister, Victoire." I say.

Louis just smilies. "Finally." I'm shocked he's not angry or overprotective.

"Their ship name would be Tectoire or Viddy." I say to myself. Louis just looks at me dumbfounded.

"You're a fangirl. Do you write fanfiction as well?"

"... Maybe." I say not entirely answering the question. "Are you a fanboy?" I asked. Louis tries to cross his arms. Keyword try. "Nice try but you know we were pranked so."

"Let's get revenge." He says smiling a bit to evilly for my liking.

"Sure... wait a second you. Darn you Weasley." I mutter under my breath. He smiles before getting out of the chair.

Suddenly some pounding is heard on the door.

"Open up. God. Why won't this stupid thing open up." My two brothers say in sync.

"Stop it hooligan and ruffian." The fat lady says trying to insult the boys. It didn't work. I feel bad for that portrait. I wonder if she ever says thank you or ever gets a good morning must be lonel-

"Fine we'll just say it from out here." Lysander says.

"Oh god." I say putting my face in my now -probably blushing- warm face.

"We heard you're dating the veela boy." Lorcan says. Does he enjoy this. He enjoys this way to freaking much. Louis looks highly offended at being called veela boy.

"Oh Godric." Louis mutters while doing the same as me. I just stomp over to the door feeling very bad for the portrait and annoyed. I think I might have possibly pulled Louis arm out of it's socket. Hmm... oh well.

I fling open the door. "Listen here. I did not want to hold hands with this idiot-"

"Hey I resent that" can you guess who said that.

"- all day. I was pranked. Now please just go away." I tell them before looking at the portrait. "Thank you for putting up with them and any other students. I'm sorry for being so rude earlier." I tell her before closing the door.

"I don't think your brothers or dad like me very much." Louis says sadly.

"No, no they do not."

**Well that was chapter two. Gotta say I was hoping for more reviews but then again I posted this like four hours ago so you're forgiven.**

**QOTD: Who's your favorite HP character and why? R&amp;R **


	3. Of waking up and complications

I was officially tired of this. I mean he was just so happy and childish and I just couldn't take it anymore. Before you judge me to harshly on this just to let you know I really really wanted to go to sleep.

"Blah blah blah blah blah blah." Was all I heard from captain talk a lot. Peter Pan said girls talk to much. He should get a load of this guy. I silently as I could put on noise canceling headphones. Right now I was smiling. Tell I realised the didn't work.

Right now the sofas are pushed together, I'm laying on the left one and him on the right on so are hands hang in between us. All he's doing is talking. God does he ever shut up.

"Louis." I say cutting him off in an impatient tone.

"Yeah." He replies obviously sad I wasn't vigorously listening to him.

"Shut up." I tell him before closing my eyes.

"Oh... okay. I can do that. Shutting up now. Hmmm hmmm." I flick him in the ear and he goes silent. Sweet success. I smile before going to sleep hoping he isn't a restless sleeper.

"Mallory. Mally. Rere. Mallory Longbottom wake up." James said starting out soft then getting louder. With a squeak I opened my eyes and sat up way to quickly. Oops. I thought before tumbling over the side. This action of course woke up our 'darling Louis' and had him toppling on the floor.

"Ow ow owie that hurts like really bad." Louis said. I just glared at him before trying to push him off. It's complicated when you have a hand connected to the biggest got in Scotland.

I just growled and snorted when he tried to get up only on resulting in him toppling to the side of me. "Fred James help us up you bloody gits." I said to the mischievous devils. They grinned at each other before shaking their heads.

"Why not?" Louis asked raising an eye brow. How does he do that. It's unfair.

"Why not," James said in a mocking tone.

"Because it's funny." Fred said.

"Hysterical." James added.

"To watch you two." Fred ended smiling sadistically. My eye twitched comically.

"We have to get up at the same time." I explained through gritted teeth. Louis just nodded. "One two three." at least we can get up at the same time.

"There's one thing we forgot to ask McGonagol." Louis stated. I looked at him oddly. What did Mc-High-and-Mighty forget to add. "How are we supposed to change our clothes."

"Oh," laughing hysterically, "my," even more laughs, "God." Fred and James say together laughing.

"Now look what you've done." I tell him slapping his on the arm. He winced and I smiled. "Louis they have a transfiguration spell for that and cleaning spell." I say snarkily and very sarcastically.

"Oh." He says slowly.

"Oh." I mimick trying and failing to cross my arms.

"Well then let's do this spell before everyone wakes up." Louis says. I roll my eyes then look around. Where did I put my wand.

"Do you know where your wand is?" I asked him. He just shook his head.

"Do you know where yours is?" He asked. I shook my head. The two idiots were smiling like Cheshire cats.

"What did you do?" We say turning to the now sheepish looking boys.

"You see..." James started.

"We kinda..." Fred continued.

"Hid them..." James continued.

"Oops." They finished together.

"Boys..." I say sweetly, "I would strangle you right now if I wasn't connected to Veela boy over here."

"I resent that. Stop calling me veela boy. It's annoying and rude."

"Just like you."

"Exactly... wait what."

"Come on, shut up, and help me find our lost wands... I never thought I would have ever said that."

"I never thought I would be connected to an insufferable little girl."

"I never thought I would be connected to a son of a banshee." I yell at him. What I need to voice my feelings about that little unicorn turd.

It had been ten minutes and I could tell James and Fred were craving popcorn watching us trying to find a wand. Then it hit us. I couldn't believe we were so stupid.

"Frame Jed what did you do with your wands?" I asked. Louis shoots me a look probably thinking something along the lines of, 'WTF, Frame, Jed.' Whenever I'm really annoyed I start saying what their names would be combined. Hmm, don't like, well to bad so sad.

"Our wands... psh we got rid of those things years and.." James said sheepishly. I turned to Louis and we nodded.

We tried to tackle them and almost succeeded, but of course Fred had to duck out of the way. "Give us your freaking wand and you will survive." I yelled.

"You wanna help me strangle them?" Louis asked.

"Yes. I would love that very much." I said smiling then stopped. "Can we even do that. I mean I seriously doubt that would work. We would also leave a definite finger print." I pointed out.

"Aww... I really really wanted to. Hmm they'll just go on my slytherin list."

"What's a slytherin list?" I asked.

"Oh it's sorta like who you would kill if you turned completely evil." He explained. I saw out of the corner of my eye a wand sticking out of Fred's pocket. I grabbed it.

"Yes yes yes. Hahaha sucker." I said then suck my tongue out at them.

"Now what spells do we use?" Louis asked.

"I don't know."

**Shout outs to everyone who R&amp;R especially to**

**Nori'sliltheif: Yes, there was Nuna at one point, Lysander and Lorcan are her older half brothers, Alice 2 is her half sister. Neville didn't cheat on Alice's mom, Hanna Abbot divorced him. Rolf is Lysander and Lorcan's dad.**

**QOTD: Would you ever try _Bertty Botts Every Flavor Jelly Beans? _Follow up question did you get the Puppet Pals reference?**


	4. Going to Mc-Scary for help

I was sad. I was tired. And I really wanted to eat breakfast, but no we had to go to Mc-Bun-Bun for help. I didn't really want to but hey, what can you do. Then again I wasn't really going at my own will. Louis was pulling me along and using so many swears.

I really need to pull out the soap for this guy he stinks. I probably stink to. I haven't had a shower and I want one. I also want to change clothes, but noooo, Fred and James had to stick our hands together. Those two idiots. Louis was practically dragging me to the office. He was walking at a very fast pace while I was running to keep up. Pathetic, I know.

We finally reached the long stair case we had to go up. I looked at Louis who was going up up up. For a second I stayed there. Until I was dragged by Louis. Oh my god we're on a first name basis now... I got to start with better names to call him. I was pulled all the way through the door and... and... Veela Boy practically pushed me into a chair.

"Headmistress McGonagol, Fred Weasley and James Potter stole our wands. In turn we stole Fred's... we just don't know what spells to use so we can get clean, and change our clothes." Louis explained. I just looked at him curiously. Did he just use that goddamn charm. He did. For the first time I'm actually. *Internally Gasps*. Grateful.

"Oh, it's okay. Fred and James punishment is another two days in detention. How does that sound?" She asked him, he just smiled and nodded apprehensivly. "Yes now the spells you need are simple just a flicking motion towards the object and say 'Glanise Glamour' to clean it. The next one is transfiguration simply say 'Skipta um föt'." She said before taking out her wand and saying those weird spells. I'm getting an Icelandic feel from the second one. The first one is just weird.

Suddenly we were wearing the proper uniform and we smelt like green apples. Meh, it could've been worse. I shrugged pulling up Louis's arm with me. I smirk before pulling my hand up and watching as Louis copies it. Interesting.

"Um McGonagol is there anything else we can do to I dunno speed up this process?" I asked. I was impatient and already been through the torture of looking for a stick that I can control my magic through.

"I talked to Mr. Weasley and he said that it should just take twenty four hours not the whole three days. Anywho you have about nine hours until it's over. So I suggest you go to classes." Mc-Scaring-Me-Since-The-Sorting said.

"Who's classes are you going to. I have care of magical creature and she has Astronomy. I have Divination and she has Ancient Runes." Louis said sounding frustrated.

"You go to COMC," she said towards me, "you go to AR." Mc-Scary said.

I wasn't really listening. I was planning revenge towards my best friends. Not because of the whole stuck to my archnemisis, mainly because they lied and made me fret about it. And to think I trusted them.

I was being mindlessly pulled around by Louis so we could get our books and get to breakfast then class. Again I was plotting the death of my friends. Maybe Mc-Never-Gonna-Be-Like-Umbridge will help me. She is the Headmaster and maybe this would be what she needs. The two most troublesome students getting a kick in the a-

"Lory are you there?" Louis questioned pulling me out of my diabolical ploys.

"1) Don't. Call. Me. Lory. My name is Mallory for a reason Veela Boy. 2) We need to plan revenge." I said over dramatically earning some peculiar looks from the students who were just getting up.

"How do you plan on doing that?" He asked skeptically raising that eyebrow that made my eye twitch.

"Well simple we'll just get a color changing potion slip it into their food, knowing how they eat they'll be pink by third period." I said before cackling almost evilly.

For a second I was sure Louis might've flinched or looked scared. But naw I'm harmless... most of the time. Sure I'm not that scary... unless you cross me. Sure I'm good at planning things... like revenge. Hmm. Guess he should be scared. This is what happens when you give children wands and magic.

**I know it's short and it's sad. Anyway the reason I made it one day instead of two was for Louis and Mallory to sort of bond through Fred and James torture... I mean pranks... whatever.**

**Shout out to Nori'sliltheif. I love your reviews they make me feel warm and fuzzy. That was weird. Anyway. If I get five reviews I'll update and or make this chapter longer**

**QOTD: What is your favorite crack ship out of the Harry Potter universe?**


	5. Howlers at Breakfast

James and Fred were both paranoid during their breakfast. It was the second day. Oh those two were on the look out. Growing up, they were best friends. She was the kind one, the one that never got in trouble, the one who had the most sheltered life. Then she met those two trouble makers. Mallory found them behind the Quiditch supply shed at Grandma Weasley's, those two were trying to find out how to work an extendable ear.

"No no no." Mallory told them as they put the non ear side on a bug and Fred had his mouth up to the ear side and opened his mouth. She yanked the toy out of his hands.

"That'll hurt him." She explained.

"What are you doing here?"James asked rudely looking at the girl, probably the same age as him with black hair.

It was sorta obvious she, or her mother cared about her appearance with the sea blue dress and her hair done nicely into two braided pigtails. One odd thing though, she wasn't wearing shoes.

"Your gran invited me and my dad." She struck out her hand for a shake. Both Fred and James looked at it dumbly neither one of them taking hold of the hand she offered. Mallory put down the hand she offered. "What's your name."

"I'm James Sirius Potter the second." He announced proudly.

"Frederick Weasley the second." She raised both her eye brows at them two.

"Wait your middle name is Sirius." She giggled at the oddity of a name. James grew defensive and looked hurt he clenched his fist remembering what his parents told him, to not hit girls. His mother told not to because they'll hit back, his father told him that it made him weaker.

"What's your name?" Fred asked rather rudely. Trying to get his friend to not hit the girl.

"Mallory." She told the two who had proudly given their names and now felt embarrassed wondering if she was named after anyone.

"Well Mallory," the two said sarcastically, "do you know any pranks?" She shook her head no.

"What do you do for fun?" James asked.

"I like to look for things, not anything in particular just... things. Oh and plants I love plants and flowers oh and vegetables." She said excitedly.

The two look at each other before Fred said "Let's teach you how to have fun"

That night those three found a gigantic mud puddle and slid in it, went inside and played on every single bed. Mallory completely ruined the dress her step mother gave to her. She felt bad for it but the guilt went away looking at her father laughing , Fred's dad smirking saying congratulations. James's mother scolded him though.

Ever since then whenever she came over (ever Friday night for six years) they would pull a prank. Honestly Mallory couldn't pull one on her own, but she had Louis's help... he couldn't pull a good prank either.

"Fred, she won't, Mallory won't do it." James assured himself. "Not on her own." A thought struck Fred. Oh no, not on her own.

"James, our dad's." Fred says looking at James in fear.

"Even worse. Our mom's." For a fearful moment the two imagined their parents, coming into Hogwarts yelling at them for pranking family and friends. Oh they would get an earful and a pat on the back. They have a confusing family. Suddenly the owls came. At least eight of them were howlers. Four for James, and four for Fred. All of them fell into their oatmeal.

"You first." James urged his flame haired friend to go first. Picking at random Fred grabbed the one on top not covered with oatmeal.

"Frederick Fabian Weasley!" The voice of Roxanne Weasley yelled to her son. "How dare you prank that poor sweet girl! And your cousin, you know about the thing, that was cruel! ... Your dad will have words with you... no George you can't tell him good job!" The letter ripped it's self to shreds.

"Just like his uncle." One of the teachers murmured.

"And father." Professor Longbottom stated laughingly before silence fell upon them.

James opened the next one. "James Sirius Potter!" Came the booming voice of James's dad. "What were you thinking, no you weren't thinking. I'm pretty sure if you were we wouldn't be her now would we. Gosh you're just like your Grandfather! Don't do it again!" Harry Potter was never good at chastising, but James didn't like the last comment. He had never met his grandpa, his dad has never met his father.

The both opened the next one at the same time and they were exact opposites. "Good job Fred!" Came George's voice. "How dare you!" Came Ginny's yell. "I must say this is the last line for you." Ginny's yell echoed the great hall. "I can't believe to actually worked." It went on like that for another four minutes.

"Well look at that." Rose Weasley said sliding in next to them. Their timid, red headed, cousin was the first in her year and she needed to be. She had to be first. Or at least that's what she believed she needed to be. "It's not even the middle of the second term and you two cause mass mayhem."

"I wouldn't call it mass mayhem." Fred insisted.

"More like tremendous embarrassment." James supplied.

"Exactly."

For Rose those two were more annoying than anything, but what happened next was more humorous than the two were annoying. Mallory was running, practically dragging Louis along and they were both panting.

"Oh," she wheezed, "they already... opened them." Some of the kids from Hufflepuff giggled, most from Ravenclaw openly smiled, Slytherin's snickered, while all of the Gryffindor's openly laughed.

"You!" James yelled standing up.

"Which one?" Louis sarcastically questioned.

"Mallory Stella Longbottom, you snitched." Fred yelled his voice echoing off the walls of the great hall, he got that ability from his aunt.

"No, I just told my favorite Grandma Weasley about the predicament she put us in and then she told the entire family." Louis told the two. By now Rose and Albus, who had came here with his friend, Scorpios, where both laughing and had fallen on the floor in their laughing fit. Fred and James's eyes were twitching. Fred's face was a very ugly shade of purple while James's was a deep, almost Weasley red.

"Mallory," the timid blonde haired Slytherin spoke for the first time to Mallory, which made her head shoot to his direction at an insane speed, "run."

She did, and boy would she and her part veela companion be sore in the morning.

**Question of the Chapter:Who thinks that Harry Potter shaped an entire generation?**


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